If coaching isn't about giving advice, how can it help me?
The moment I fell in love with coaching was when my coach all but said:
“I see your ambition and I’m ready to help your soar.”
Or, in her words: I work with people who are up to something, and you are up to big things.
Nothing has ever stopped me from going after what I want but there have been moments where I’ve been asked to calm down, to relax, to lower expectations. There was a time in my career where I felt like no one was willing to put their neck out for me, but this woman was.
For the first time in a long time someone was challenging me and I was ready for it.
The best part was this type of challenge was new, it was different. It wasn’t about productivity and the hustle and chase, but rather about feeling good in my work, happy in life, and whole in my being. I wasn’t being told what to do, but instead being asked what I wanted - the same place I start with my clients today.
After all, who likes to be told what to do?
From that first call I knew I wanted more. I wanted more of what she was offering and if this was what coaching was, well, I was ALL IN.
Because from our very first conversation, I learned that coaching isn’t about giving advice - far from it. It’s listening to the person in front of you in a way they’ve never been heard before, and then…
Being the mirror
When someone reflects your thoughts back to you, it can offer a whole new perspective. Although it may feel uncomfortable at first, it is powerful in building self-awareness and in turn, change. What we think, we believe; what we believe, we become. When we hear our words reflected back to us, we are often surprised to uncover the truth we aren’t facing, but it allows us to eliminate thoughts that are not useful.
Focusing on what’s working
In a world of metrics, KPIs, and annual reviews, it is easy for our negativity bias to keep us focused on what’s not working. But what if I asked you what is working right now? This is the first step in shifting our thinking towards the positive. What we focus on grows, and when we focus on what is working we create more of it and as a result increase our happiness, productivity, and overall well-being.
Asking a good question
Ask a good question, get a good answer. Good questions help you see a new, different, or alternative possibility. They allow you to shake up your thinking. They crack open the door and allow you to peek through and see there are so many other doors to choose from. By being asked an elevated question, you are given the opportunity to offer an elevated answer in a way that restores choice in your life.
Slowing you down
“Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.”
Probably one of the toughest principles I’ve had to work on. When we slow, we are able to connect to the present moment; to see what it is offering and then take the next best step forward. When we slow down, we can move forward and do the doable, rather than letting overwhelm and stress stop us dead in our tracks.
Working from the inside-out
Every aspect of your life is a reflection of who you are being.
When we operate from a place of alignment and integration within ourselves, life feels good. We restore trust in ourselves and experience an increase in confidence and connection to our purpose. Awareness of our strengths, how we show up naturally in the world, allows us to connect more deeply to who we are so that we can show up more fully. And when we find alignment to our true selves, we are living an integrated life - one in which we are always ourselves despite the external environment or circumstances.
Looking underneath the surface
Things are not always what they seem; what we think is keeping us up at night, stopping us from going after our goals, or making us feel stuck, is really just the beginning. By going deeper, you find the problem you’re actually facing and are able to work through it in order to move forward. This is the good stuff. This where limiting assumptions can be unlocked and transformation can begin.
Accelerating you towards your goals
While encouragement feels nice, creating a plan to get there feels even better. Prepare to take the leap of faith by building a parachute and platform to ensure the ride is smooth sailing with a soft landing.
Coaching is powerful. Coaching is transformational. Coaching is life changing.
Kirsten Schmidtke is a professional coach, creator, and lover of lake life. She works with leaders, creators, and entrepreneurs to help them up-level their careers, businesses, and lives. Are you ready to explore what’s possible for you? Contact Kirsten to start the conversation!
