Make a big impact by strengthening this underused and underdeveloped skill

Are you open to feedback? 

Before you go making a list of who to ask, or gathering the courage to send a note to your team, your peers, your manager, etc… let me offer you a shortcut: 

There is one skill across the board that has become undervalued, underdeveloped and as a result, underused. Regardless of your role, tenure, or whether you contribute as an individual or a manager, we all have the opportunity to lead, to inspire, and to empower. Our collective ability to connect and collaborate can create unprecedented results when this skill is applied. It can undoubtedly be improved upon across individuals and organizations, entrepreneurs and community groups. This critical skill doesn’t require you to ask anything of anyone; in fact it requires exactly the opposite - for you to be quiet, to slow down, to say nothing. 

It’s time for you to start listening. 

At the end of the day, we all have one thing in common: we are human beings. Relational beings. While technology may enable us to do more in less time, to automate, to scale, it doesn’t replace the fact that within our work day we are interacting with people. People who want to contribute. People who want to have an impact. People who want to be heard and to be seen. 

The challenge is, as we continue to place our focus on output and outcomes, we miss the opportunity to understand what inspires and motivates the people putting in the effort to get us there. We make assumptions about their productivity and efficiency. We create incentives and provide feedback without awareness of what makes them tick. We blame a lack of interest or disengagement as the reason behind mediocre results. 

But what if the problem isn’t them, it’s us. 

A lack of listening leads employees to feel disengaged and disillusioned as they feel their work isn’t appreciated or valued. A lack of listening is interpreted as a lack of acknowledgment, further eroding an individual’s relationship with their work, their team, and the organization.

When we take a reactive approach, we absolve ourselves of involvement, ownership, and responsibility - the very things we should be channeling and leaning into to make a difference. 

When was the last time you slowed down to listen to your employee, teammate, or direct report? When was the last time you focused on their individual assets and took the time to build awareness around their unique strengths, values, and priorities? 

Listening can be the key differentiator in moving your business relationships, client conversations, and career forward. And it goes without saying, your personal relationships too. 

Listening is not thinking.
Listening is not anticipating what the other person is going to say. 
Listening is not manipulating someone else's words to meet your agenda. 

Listening is quieting your thinking to make space for someone else's. 
Listening is being present in the conversation. 
Listening is having no agenda. 

Listening avoids leaving others feeling misunderstood, misheard, and misread. Listening opens up the opportunity for curiosity, critical thinking, and commitment to helping others - pillars of success for an impactful leader. 

When you allow yourself to listen, you become aware of what the person across from you is saying, and isn’t saying. You’re able to pick up on the pauses, the hesitations, the questions they want to ask but may not feel able to. When you are quiet, the space in between you and the person across from you opens up and allows them to explore their thoughts out loud, express themselves more fully, and share in honesty and authenticity. 

Listening is the foundation of any relationship including the one with yourself. Notice how you’re listening; is it partial and distracted? Is it quiet and present? Is it focused and intentional? 

Slow down.

Get quiet.

Start listening… 

You’ll be amazed at what you learn.

Kirsten Schmidtke is a professional coach, speaker, and lover of lake life. She works with leaders, creators, and entrepreneurs to help them up-level their careers, businesses, and lives. Are you ready to explore what’s possible for you? Contact Kirsten to start the conversation!