The two paradoxical strengths that work powerfully in harmony

I had a client disappointed in her strengths assessment results.

She had diligently answered all of the questions, aware of self judgment and doubt along the way, and had made an effort to eliminate the noise around her including technology, other people’s expectations, and the need to have the “right answer” - distractions come in a variety of forms after all.

We had been working towards a professional goal that we both agreed required a more in depth understanding of what was currently working for her. (There is no doubt that focusing on the positive yields wildly greater and accelerated results). Uncovering and understanding personal strengths is a foundation on which you can build self awareness and gain insight into the parts of you that show up effortlessly.

Your strengths are your launching pad;

they are the platform from which you begin the process of going after your goals, whether personal or professional, leading you ultimately to success.

But when humility made it among the top strengths on her list, my client was confused and discouraged. Humility? A strength? She understood humility to mean modest and humble - a direct contradiction with her manager’s feedback to speak up more, to broadcast her wins, to “toot her own horn”. From her point of view humility was the opposite of leadership, the very muscle she was looking to strengthen.

It’s worth noting that what we often perceive to be our weaknesses are in fact our strengths -

What comes most easily to us, tends to be what we take for granted.

This is where the value of a strengths assessment shows its true colours - in the unpacking and unwrapping of the gifts with which you carry everyday. It requires what Adam Grant has coined “rethinking”; the ability to hone the power of knowing what you don’t know.

But not everyone has humility as a top strength to keep them grounded, and as a result we must be aware of the other side of the coin: blindness.

We can embody our strengths to a point of going blind:

being unaware of what we don’t know leading to overconfidence and an inability to see or hear otherwise.

“We all have blind spots in our knowledge and opinions which leave us blind to our blindness and keeps us from rethinking. We need to develop the skill of recognizing and then rethinking accordingly.” - Adam Grant

The balance?

Confident Humility.

In Think Again, Adam Grant presents this concept as “having faith in our capability while appreciating that we may not have the right solution or be addressing the right problem.”

The combined awareness and ability of channeling humility allows for a hint of doubt in our thinking, our beliefs.

Remember: beliefs are an accumulation of thoughts repeated over and over and over again… What you think, you believe. What you believe, you focus on. What you focus on, grows…

When we begin to doubt our thinking, it opens our minds to re-examine our beliefs and our knowledge.

This is the very definition of creative thinking and productive problem solving: being able to see things a different way. To look behind a closed door. To consider a new approach.

With confidence, we are led to pursue these new ideas and new insights with fervour. When our confidence is rooted in humility (note: the Latin root of humility translates to “grounded”, and “from the earth”), we can step forward with an open mindset and expanded vision.

With this approach, leaders are more inclusive, effective, and respected.

And the best part is, these strengths already live inside of you - it’s just a matter of where you put your focus, where you want to get stronger.

Is it about being right, or being better?

Is it about proving yourself or improving yourself?

Is it about following along or being the leader?

“Humility is a reflective lens: it helps us see them [weaknesses] clearly. Confident humility is a corrective lens: it enables us to overcome those weaknesses.” - Adam Grant

Are you ready to rethink?

Kirsten Schmidtke is a professional coach, creator, and lover of lake life. She works with leaders, creators, and entrepreneurs to help them up-level their careers, businesses, and lives. Are you ready to explore what’s possible for you? Contact Kirsten to start the conversation!